


The Last Days of Winter

by MarmeLady_Orange



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in Alternate Vessel, Dean’s last day, Fluff and/or Angst, He dies of old age, M/M, Sad but I think it’s still a happy ending, Tenderness, there’s pie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 05:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2639375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarmeLady_Orange/pseuds/MarmeLady_Orange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is a hundred years old today. He gets a special visitor for what will ultimately be his last birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Days of Winter

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a fic for when I get 100 followers on Tumblr. I started writing it a while ago (I was at 95 I think)… And it so happens that I got to 100 today. Luckily, it was almost finished so… there you go!
> 
> See you again in 100 followers… (if THAT ever happens! lol)

 

He never thought he’d make it this far. Even his brother had kicked his own bucket twelve years prior, which was still quite an accomplishment for a hunter. But now, at a hundred years old, Dean Winchester was pretty sure he was holding the longevity record amongst the community.

To be fair, he had died numerous times during the course of his life, but there was always someone or something to bring him back. Even in the later years, when he wasn’t hunting anymore but rather battling diverse old man illnesses, he would always get through them even when the medical staff had lost hope.

Of course, Dean knew why that was. Not that he had ever seen him, but he knew Castiel had to have been behind these little miracles. The last time he had laid eyes on the angel was so long ago, when they found a true spell to close up Heaven. This time, the angels were barricaded home and Cas had been the one to lock the door behind him.

"Time for your afternoon snack, Mr Winchester," Nurse Jamison said right next to him, making the former hunter jump.

"Wear a damn bell, won’t you?" the old man groused, extending a trembling hand towards her.

Without replying, she dropped a couple of pills in his hand and gave him some water to help swallow them. When he was done, he gave her back the paper cup, taking advantage of his seated position to give an appreciative glance in her cleavage then at her perky behind while she walked away. As a younger man, he would have done anything to try and tap that.

Well... unless Cas had stayed around, of course. But the angel had chosen Heaven over him, as he should have. He often chose Dean in the time he knew him, losing his wings or his life on many occasions. But in the end, he chose himself and his family. And Dean couldn’t have been more proud, even if it broke his heart into a million pieces.

Never was he able to find someone to share his life, unlike Sammy who achieved starting a family while staying a hunter. And all of that before celebrating his fortieth birthday. Dean didn’t mind though. As long as he had his Baby, the road and a working dick, he was happy. There was always a friendly girl somewhere, ready to give him a good time between hunts.

Even after his little time with Cas, after coming to terms with his being in love with his best friend, Dean never was attracted to a man again. Not that Cas really was a man, but he did inhabit a male body after all. With male parts and everything. But because it was Cas, and only him, Dean hadn’t cared.

The big clock on the wall was showing 2:45. His nephews would probably be arriving soon, with their families in tow. He may have been a loner, keeping to himself instead of hanging out with the other old geezers, but Dean was still looking forward for his family’s visit.

He swallowed thickly at the thought of those who wouldn’t be there, trying to keep his tears at bay. He had become such an emotional mess in his old age, even more than his baby brother. His baby brother who would not be there to gently mock his tears and call him a big girl like he had done to him his old life. Laura, Sam’s wife, would not be there either, not having survived a whole year without her husband.

And Cas wouldn’t be there. He never was. That was another difficult thing for Dean to think about. He knew for a fact that the lock on Heaven’s doors had been unlatched many years ago, but Castiel had never come back to him. Of course, he was now a crippled old man, but the angel could have at least dropped by to say hi. Or hello, rather.

Dean had kept praying to his friend for many years, not even knowing if he could be heard. He only stopped after running into another angel a little over thirty years ago. When the entity wearing a freckled teenager had explained how the angels were free again, Dean prayed like a madman, asking his friend to come and see him. But he never did.

The last time he prayed was on his eightieth birthday, asking Castiel again to make his presence known, then thanking the angel for riding his body of the cancer that had been plaguing him. The following times he was miraculously cured, or so the doctors told him, he didn’t even bother sending his thanks. And the last time it happened, less than a year ago, his heart coming back to life when it had stopped working for too long, Dean cursed the Heavens and Castiel himself.

Both his nephews were close to retirement now, even their children had started to build their own families. As far as he was concerned, Dean felt like he had milked this life for all that it was worth and he was more than ready to just be done already. But for that to happen, Cas had to stop saving his damn life.

He looked around the rec room, hoping to find an orderly who would agree to push his chair outside. And if he was lucky, he’d be able to convince them to roll him all the way to the pond. The light snow from the night before had already melted and the stone path looked practicable.

“Claudio, you busy?” Dean croaked to the man he spotted in the hall.

“A bit, I gotta change the beddings. What do you need?”

“Wanna go outside.”

“I’ll tell the nurses, they’ll send someone,” Claudio offered with a bright smile.

It didn’t take long for another man to come into the room. He looked around and started walking towards Dean the second he found him.

“Here, boy,” Dean still said, giving him a weak hand gesture.

“I hear you want to go outside? Aren’t you afraid to catch a cold? It looks nice with the sun shining, but it’s still pretty chilly,” the young man offered, bending down to unlatch the chair’s locks.

“I may be old, but I ain’t stupid. Just push,” Dean spat, annoyed to have this kid question his actions.

“Alright, but we are putting a blanket on you.”

Dean huffed when the blond man grabbed a quilt and draped it over him but he had to admit it had been a great idea when they stepped outside and he felt the cold air on his face.

“Thanks…” Dean said, hoping he wouldn’t have to explain why he was thanking the boy. “What’s your name? I don’t know you.”

“James, but you can call me Jimmy,” the young man said, not paying attention to the hitch in the old man’s breath. “We’ve actually met before, on my first day here,” he added with a low chuckle.

“Can you bring me to the pond?” Dean asked, not in the mood for innate chatter.

“You know it’s frozen, right?”

“I think I still know how winter works, yeah.”

Jimmy let out a low chuckle again and stopped talking, pushing the chair at a nice pace. Not too slow, but not fast enough that it would feel like wind on Dean’s face. Still, the cold air made him cough once in a while, usually prompting the nurse to stop and grab his shoulder asking if he was alright. The old man would give him a short nod and Jimmy would start pushing the chair again.

All around, the trees were bare, a couple of conifers the only patches of colour in the otherwise winterish decor. There were benches scattered around the pond but they were covered in snow, so Jimmy wouldn’t be able to sit with him. Which was kind of a blessing, in Dean’s opinion.

“Look kid, if you don’t mind, I’ll stay here for a while. You can come back later to bring me in.”

“I’m not leaving you out here alone,” the nurse replied, pushing them both towards the bench closest to the path. After securing Dean’s wheels, he brushed off the snow from the bench and sat down.

“You gonna get hemorrhoids,” Dean teased the nurse.

“No I won’t, Dean.”

Something in the young man’s response made Dean’s heart skip a beat. For a second there, his voice sounded lower, rougher. But he dismissed the thought hastily, knowing that the voice he was thinking of belonged to someone else entirely. Someone who probably didn’t even exist anymore.

Someone who didn’t exist but who he still wanted to speak to again. And with that kid here, he could forget about praying out loud. He could always pray in his mind, but he needed the words to roll on his tongue and pass his lips. He needed his prayers to be carried on by the wind...

“Talk to me, Dean,” the nurse said again, grabbing the old man’s hand. “I’m here.”

“Look kid, I know you want—”

“Look at me,” the nurse cut the old man off, cupping his face with his other hand.

Even before his eyes would meet the other man’s, Dean understood. And when he looked in Jimmy’s eyes, he finally saw his angel, looking back at him.

“Cas?” he breathed.

“Hello, Dean.”

This time, Dean couldn’t keep the tears from falling, bringing a shaky hand to the unknown vessel’s jaw. Castiel let go of Dean’s hand and brought his other hand to frame the man’s wrinkled face before leaning in to kiss his forehead.

“How... why Jimmy?” Dean stuttered, relishing the feeling of the warm lips on his parchment-like skin.

“Would you believe me if I said it was all a coincidence?” Dean shrugged and Castiel kept going. “His name truly is James... James Graham. He was named after his grandfather, James Novak. And he just so happens to work here.”

“Didn’t think you’d be doing that shit again.”

“I never thought I’d be taking a vessel either. But then I heard you…”

“I haven’t prayed to you in ages.”

“I could always hear your heart, Dean.”

“If you had, you would have come earlier.”

Because he was stuck in this damn wheelchair, Dean couldn’t walk away from the man he once thought was his... his... whatever he was. So all he could do was to turn away from him, efficiently making the hands leave his face.

“Dean—”

“Bring me back inside.”

“Let me explain.”

“Inside,” Dean growled, amazed to find that he could still sound as commanding as a hundred-year-old man as he did at thirty.

“Not until you hear what I have to say.”

“What’s to say, Cas? You did what you had to do. When you could get out, I was already too old. There’s nothing more to say.”

“Yes, I did what I had to do. And even when the doors opened again, there was still work to be done. But mainly, I didn’t have a vessel to use anymore.”

“What about this guy you got now?”

“When I tried to come to you at first, Jimmy wasn’t even born yet. And Claire refused to let me in again. I tried once more with Jimmy and he refused too.”

“What’s so different now?”

“I explained why I needed him and I promised to leave as soon as my task was done with.”

“Let me guess... the end of the world?”

“It is the end of someone’s world, yes”

Again, he might have been old and wrinkled but Dean’s mind was still sharp enough to understand what the angel was saying.

“You’re moonlighting as a reaper now?”

“Of course not, you will get a proper reaper.”

“Are you here to prevent it? Again?”

“So you know about that?”

“There can only be so many miraculous recoveries in one guy’s life, you know?”

“I could prevent you death again, but your heart tells me you wouldn’t want me to.”

“I’m tired Cas. And I’m all alone. The last time should have been it.”

“Isn’t your family coming in for your birthday dinner?”

“Yeah, but you know... It’s my nephew’s turn to be the old geezers. They don’t need me to hog the attention.”

Castiel didn’t reply, instead grabbing Dean’s hand again when he saw him tremble. Immediately, Dean felt his whole body being overcome by warmth, as if a summer sun was shining on him.

“Thanks,” Dean said, squeezing the angel’s hand softly.

“My pleasure.”

“So... why are you here, really?”

“I wanted you to be prepared.”

“Isn’t that cheating?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

They both stopped talking, instead letting their gazes linger on the frozen pond. Not that there was much to see but it was either that or gazing into each other’s eyes. When Cas felt the hand in his falter a bit, he turned to his friend.

“You’re tired, we should go back inside,” he said, getting back up to go stand behind Dean’s chair.

“Yeah... big day today.”

“Your family will be here soon.”

“Will you stay?”

“I’ll be here until you’re ready to go,” Castiel promised, turning the chair around to walk them both back to the house.

The way back is mostly silent, if not for Castiel who hums some tune under his breath. It takes a while for Dean to recognize the melody, but for the life of him he can’t put a name on it. It had been so long...

“All of my love,” Castiel said all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry?”

“All of my love, by Led Zeppelin. That’s what I was humming.”

“Huh... yeah, I remember now. It’s not my favourite.”

“I know... but it’s mine.”

When they were finally back inside, Nurse Jamison came to them, a frown on her face.

“Jimmy, where are you coming from?” she asked, her tone clipped.

“The pond. Mr Winchester wished to see it so I went with him.”

“Yeah, well his family is waiting in the rec room,” she announced before going back to the nurses’ station.

“How much does your family know?” Castiel whispered in Dean’s ear, the good one.

“Rob and Nathan know about the life but... their kids don’t. There never was any reason to tell them.”

“Alright... I will leave you—”

“Please Cas, stay,” Dean pleaded, afraid he wouldn’t see the angel again.

“I’ll be with you until the very end,” he promised, kissing the old man’s cheek before leading him to his family.

Dean was quickly surrounded by his nephews and their families, all thirteen of them. Well, fourteen now that Nathan’s oldest daughter had given birth to a brand new baby boy.

“Uncle Dean, meet the latest member of our family... Samuel,” Nathan announced, his daughter moving in to transfer her baby into the old man’s arms.

“Huh... hello there, Sammy,” Dean croaked, not even trying to hide his tears. “He looks just like his grandpa and his great grandpa did at that age.”

“You remember them as babies?” the new mother asked.

“There are things I’ll never forget. Just promise me one thing, alright? Don’t let him grow his hair long.”

Everyone in the room laughed, knowing all about the Winchester brothers and their constant banter. Even the Jerk-Bitch bit had made it through the generations. This being the first time – and last, but only Dean knew that – the four generations were together, many pictures were taken. Dean was even able to convince Cas, known to the others as Jimmy, to stand in some of them.

They had the traditional birthday pie, lemon-meringue instead of pecan because Dean couldn’t eat those anymore. The adults had beer, the kids had juice. Dean fell asleep in his chair and everyone took this as a cue to leave.

When he woke up later in the evening, Dean was in his bed. It wasn’t the first time this would happen so he wasn’t even surprised. What was irregular was the hand holding his. Sitting in a chair next to his bed was James, or rather Castiel.

“You’re still here,” he said in a raspy voice.

After answering with a soft nod, Castiel took a glass of water from the bedside table, aiming the straw at the old man’s lips. Dean pushed out the plastic tube when he had taken a couple of sips and sighed.

“Is it time?” he asked.

“It will be soon,” Castiel confirmed with a gentle smile. He let go of the former hunter’s hand to cup his wrinkled face. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to keep you alive a little longer?”

“I’m so fucking tired, Cas… Can’t even walk ’nymore. I think I deserve some peace, whichever kind I get.”

“I doubt you’d find peace in Hell but do not fear, that is not where you are headed.”

Dean nodded, reassured to have confirmation about his final destination. He was actually excited now at the thought of seeing all of those he loved and lost. He knew there were some he’d never see again because they would never be allowed in Heaven, like Garth and Benny, but he could live with that. Or rather, he could die with that. But there was still one person he wanted to see more than anyone in Heaven.

“Will I see you there?” he asked, locking his tired eyes onto the angels. Even though they weren’t blue anymore, he could still recognize the power he had known and loved.

“I will be able to come and visit you, yes,” Castiel reassured Dean.

“Sucks that I now look like this, right? I looked nice before.”

“You’re still beautiful, Dean. You will always be.”

Castiel leant down to press the much thinner lips of Jimmy Novak’s grandson onto Dean’s dry ones. It was nothing passionate but it still elicited a lump to form in the old man’s throat and tears to trickle down his cheeks.

“I loved you so much…” he breathed, grabbing one of the angel’s hands again, not even trying to stifle his tears.

“I know, and I loved you too. I still do. I sometimes regret not choosing you all those years ago.”

“Why regret? It’s not like we can go back in time,” Dean said with a smile, very aware that time travel was a possibility. But he understood how there had been no other opportunities back in the days.

Castiel sat back on his chair, a glum expression on his face. “You never loved again.”

“I did… not like I loved you, but I loved. My family was enough.”

Both men let silence fall into the room. Outside the window, the full moon was shining especially bright. Dean couldn’t help resent the fact that he was now so old that he wouldn’t be able to sleep with his angel one last time. But even without the sex, we would have loved to just be cuddling with him. Maybe even die in his arms.

“We can do that,” he heard Castiel say beside him. He seemed to have forgotten how Dean hated to have his thoughts invaded. Being a centenarian certainly hadn’t changed his mind on the matter.

“Would you have asked?” Castiel said again while settling on the bed with caution.

“I guess not,” Dean replied, too tired to try and have an argument on the subject. Soon, he was engulfed in Castiel’s warm embrace, resting his head against the strange vessel’s thumping heart. If he kept his eyes closed, he could imagine that the body next to him was the one he had learnt to love so many years ago.

“Open your eyes, Dean,” he heard Castiel say after brushing a hand against his temple. “Please,” he asked again.

When he opened his eyes, Dean was surprised to be met with that blue he had never been able to forget. Castiel moved back a little and the old hunter could see that he now looked as he once did; the dark ruffled hair, the deep blue eyes, the thick chapped lips, the stubble…

“How?” he breathed, his eyes once more overflowing with tears.

“It’s only an illusion, Dean. But in Heaven, this is how I will appear to you… if you wish that I do.”

“Yes… I love you… Cas…”

His hand still on Dean’s face, Castiel kissed him again. And even though Dean didn’t want to lose sight of the man he had lost, he still closed his eyes, giving into something he never thought would happen ever again. His heart was now galloping at what was an alarming rate for a man his age. But he didn’t care, all he wanted was to stay awake and bask in the warmth and tenderness he had missed so much.

“Time to let go, my love,” Castiel said, his breath a ghost on Dean’s lips.

Dean shook his head, wanting to hold on just a little more. “I need to feel you.”

“You will always feel me, Dean,” the angel promised, putting one of the old man’s hand on his heart.

He rested their foreheads together and started humming a song Dean recognized immediately this time. The hunter closed his eyes once more, letting his mother’s favourite Beatles’ ballad lull him to sleep. He knew he would never wake up in this world again but he didn’t care.

When he did wake up, it was as a man in his late thirties, sitting behind his Baby’s steering wheel. Except this time he wasn’t alone as he could still feel his angel’s hand in his. He turned to find the Castiel he once knew sitting on the passenger seat.

Dean smiled. “Where to?” he asked.

“It’s your journey, Dean. You get to decide where it leads,” Castiel replied in kind.

“Then let’s see where the road takes us,” Dean said as the Impala purred her way towards the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing’s mine… Still, I give it to you… what a cheapskate I am! (still love ya though)


End file.
